Current:Home > Invest'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds. -WealthMindset Learning
'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds.
View
Date:2025-04-16 13:50:09
Former NFL star Michael Oher has sued the family that took him in, alleging they never legally adopted him and only sought to profit at his expense.
The legal fallout from his petition, filed in Tennessee court Monday, is still ongoing; however, many know the pain of getting betrayed, disowned or otherwise hurt by their so-called family − and mental health experts say these wounds can run deep.
"Research suggests that the same parts of the brain that process physical pain also process emotional pain, so being cut off or isolated or betrayed or rejected or disowned by your family physically hurts," Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author, previously told USA TODAY, adding that isolation and loneliness brought on by family estrangement can put people at higher risk of anxiety, depression, heart disease and cognitive decline.
The wounds of family pain run deep
Taken in by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy while experiencing poverty and navigating the foster care system, Oher became a first-round draft pick after attending the Tuohys alma mater, Ole Miss. His life story was made into the 2009 blockbuster movie "The Blind Side" after the 2006 Michael Lewis book of the same name.
In his petition Monday, Oher alleged the Tuohy family deceived him of his legal family status and exploited his life for financial gain. He requested they stop using his name and likeness in addition to back pay for any money he may be owed.
He also said he discovered he was never legally adopted six months ago and called the situation "painful." (The Tuohy family is calling Oher’s claims of deceit "outlandish" and "transparently ridiculous," while also alleging this is not the former football player's first attempt to bring legal action against them.)
More:'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher's blockbuster lawsuit against Tuohy family explained
Therapist Gregorio Lozano III previously told USA TODAY the pain brought on by family wounds is a primal one, originating from humanity's earliest ancestors.
"When we experienced a rejection from the tribe, that meant a life or death situation," he said. "Now, we don't have that aspect, but we still have the emotional trauma that can result from that."
For many, family is also a core part of one's identity. When someone is hurt by a family member or kept from having a relationship with their family, it can undermine their sense of self and self-worth.
"A lot of our identity is tied up into our family: 'Who are my parents? What kind of family do I come from? What do we believe?' " Cole said. "When there is this discord or disconnection or fracture in the family, it affects people to their core."
Rejection by one's family can also lead someone to question if something is "fundamentally wrong with them," Cole added, a self-doubt that can impact the other relationships that person has throughout their life.
"You just never feel like you fit in. You don't know where you belong," she said. "You're constantly wondering, 'Is this relationship OK?' You're constantly taking the emotional temperature of the relationship."
More:Michael Oher alleges 'Blind Side' family deceived him into conservatorship for financial gain
My family hurt me. What should I do?
If you're struggling with a family fracture or pain as the result of family, therapists offer the following advice:
- Seek therapy: Family fractures can bring on all kinds of mental health concerns that are best treated by professionals.
- Feel your feelings: Allowing yourself to acknowledge a feeling can be healthier than repressing it, Lozano said. "It's more of what we do with those feelings that matters."
- Build an identity outside your family: Finding passions, hobbies, community and values outside of family can help build self-worth and self-efficacy, Cole said.
- Reflect on how your family fracture may be affecting your other relationships: It's important to take stock of how feelings brought on by a fractured familial relationship may be impacting your other relationships, psychiatrist Dr. Dion Metzger previously told USA TODAY. "When there's an issue within our family and we feel estranged, it does affect how we approach our relationships, our romantic relationships and our friendships," she said.
- Find healthy relationships: For people with fractured families, Cole stressed the importance of "finding other healthy relationships where you do feel seen or you feel appreciated and supported and connected."
More:Joe Biden finally acknowledged his granddaughter. Many know the pain of a family fracture.
Contributing: Chris Bumbaca, USA TODAY; Jason Munz, Memphis Commercial Appeal
veryGood! (9)
Related
- 'As foretold in the prophecy': Elon Musk and internet react as Tesla stock hits $420 all
- Police say a man in Puerto Rico fatally shot 3 people before killing himself
- Seattle will pay $10 million to protesters who said police used excessive force during 2020 protests
- Students in Greece protest plans to introduce private universities
- Megan Fox's ex Brian Austin Green tells Machine Gun Kelly to 'grow up'
- Violent crime in Los Angeles decreased in 2023. But officials worry the city is perceived as unsafe
- Robert De Niro Gets Emotional Over Becoming a Dad Again to 9-Month-Old Baby Gia
- Poland’s pro-EU government and opposition disagree on whether 2 pardoned lawmakers can stay on
- What do we know about the mysterious drones reported flying over New Jersey?
- Japan’s precision moon lander has hit its target, but it appears to be upside-down
Ranking
- Federal appeals court upholds $14.25 million fine against Exxon for pollution in Texas
- Hillary Clinton reacts to Margot Robbie, Greta Gerwig Oscars snub: You're both so much more than Kenough
- Warriors honor beloved assistant coach Dejan Milojević before return to court
- Peter Navarro, ex-Trump official, sentenced to 4 months in prison for contempt of Congress
- Justice Department, Louisville reach deal after probe prompted by Breonna Taylor killing
- The Challenge Alums Johnny Bananas, CT and More Share Secrets of Their Past in New Series
- Eva Mendes Defends Ryan Gosling From Barbie Hate After Oscar Nomination
- Coco Gauff falls to Aryna Sabalenka in Australian Open semifinal
Recommendation
'Kraven the Hunter' spoilers! Let's dig into that twisty ending, supervillain reveal
Doomsday clock time for 2024 remains at 90 seconds to midnight. Here's what that means.
Group can begin gathering signatures to get public records measure on Arkansas ballot
Violent crime in Los Angeles decreased in 2023. But officials worry the city is perceived as unsafe
Toyota to invest $922 million to build a new paint facility at its Kentucky complex
Evers in State of the State address vows to veto any bill that would limit access to abortions
Turkey’s central bank hikes key interest rate again to 45% to battle inflation
'Tótem' invites you to a family birthday party — but Death has RSVP'd, too